whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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