HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize