I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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