i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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