He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
