Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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