i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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