Sponge bath it is.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
