And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
