I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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