Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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