I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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