PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
