i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
