There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i love accidental penises.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
