Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize