And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
