My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
