chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
