I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
