real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Drake has all the answers
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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