I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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