You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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