i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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