this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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