bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
