So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
