my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my being single is dangerous.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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