I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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