I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
