whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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