I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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