Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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