Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
