I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
