Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
