I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
