Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
