At least make sure they are 18
Why
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
