i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
