Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
