why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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