Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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