I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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