yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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