Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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