Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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