you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
