the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
