Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
