she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
