i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
