maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
