i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
