Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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