We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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