I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
