this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Life is so much better after having sex.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
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Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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