I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
