the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
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I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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