Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
