make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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