ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
love makes seman taste better
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
