I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
